As a believer in Jesus Christ, you are of the opinion and testimony that there are absolute truths in the world. For example, God exists and Jesus is His Son. Most parents feel the responsibility to share said truths with their offspring.
As a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ, you believe one of those absolute truths is the restored gospel.
As a parent of a 17 year-old teenager, you believe an absolute truth is to avoid premarital sex, or drugs, or alcohol or any number of harmful activities and behaviors.
As a wife, you believe that your husband should treat you with respect, he should be faithful, teach your children eternal truths, and be an example to the children. As a husband, you believe your wife should keep the house clean, cook sumptuous meals, nurture the children, and give you back rubs 3 times a week.
How important is it that you are right?
Consider how many young skulls full of mush get pregnant before marriage? Why do they act this way? How about kids who become drug addicts while still in high school? Didn’t their parents tell them drugs were bad?
Consider again, how important is it that you are right when you communicate with your loved ones?
How many parents have you heard say: “I can’t understand why my child went astray, I raised him in the church or with Christian principles.”
What about the lament of parents who have multiple children and one or more of them go awry? Up goes the cry: “But I raised them all the same.”
The importance of being right is a good distance behind being interesTED in the space you share with others. If The Church of Jesus Christ is God’s restored organization on earth, then our missionaries have a message of absolute truth and they are right. Which translates that everyone should listen to them. Right?
So how important is it to be right?
Elders and Sisters, do people flock to your side begging for the lessons and church tours as you saunter down the street? No? Members, how about co-workers and neighbors who know you are a member of the church. Do they beg for more information because they want to know the truth or are their questions out of curiosity because rumor has it you have horns growing on your head and you can have multiple wives?
You can test this postulation by experimenting with those around you. The next time you are tempted to illustrate you are right, try to understand what the other person is thinking before you pontificate.
I have been blessed to hold lengthy conversations with fellow Christians not of my faith, Jews, and Muslims. Some have master’s degrees in theology and it stings when they share their feelings at the conclusion of said conversations. First they express how delightful and enjoyable the discussion was, expressing a desire to repeat the feeling. Then comes the slap, I’ve never had a discussion like that with a Mormon; we usually start arguing and fighting.
Why? What for? How come? It isn’t necessary, required, or productive.
I’m sure there are many good reasons folks have a negative opinion of our faith. One of them may be how we conduct missionary work. Instead of learning about them (our co-worker or neighbor), what makes them tick etc. we instead go straight for the juggler, WE ARE RIGHT, YOU ARE WRONG, now when do you want to get baptized?
In essence, that is the message we’ve been taught to deliver. What do you know about the Mormon Church? Do you want to know more? How about learning their story first and develop a relationship of mutual trust and respect. If they want to know the truth, they will ask for it and it will come natural because you have positioned yourself to conduct missionary work in a productive, non-threatening environment.
If you still struggle swallowing this radical concept, let’s role-play for a moment. We’re sitting in church together and the Bishop announces a combined third-hour meeting for priesthood and Relief Society on missionary work.
What are you feeling? What’s going through your mind?
Be honest. Are you excited and thinking, ‘oh boy, I get to write down some friends’ names and sic the missionaries on them’?
I’ve conducted this research for the past 2 years in my former calling and the reality goes something like this:
- Boring
- Nervous
- Not interesTED
- Apprehensive
- Pressured
Why do we feel this way, when we know what we should do? Again, how important is it to be right?
What if we actually taught our members how to talk with their friends in a way that was natural, normal, non-offensive and gave us each the highest probability of success to conduct missionary work?
You can be right all day long, but if no one will listen to you, because they don’t feel safe, what good does it do? Parents who are guilty of telling their kids what to do instead of teaching (listening) are usually right, but their kids don’t care.
Perhaps if we, as members, spent more time becoming interesTED in our neighbors instead of telling them about us, more of them would WANT to hear about the truth?
Richard i have given a copy of the question, (What key doctrines do we need to understand to eliminate resistance and embrace more rapid growth in convert baptisms?) To the leader ship in the Elma 2nd ward & requested feed back at the next ward council meeting. I would very much appreciate your response to this question. Thank you a grateful subscriber. Mark Doyle
In reading this latest, I remember what someone told me years ago. When you’re in a class and the instructor is speaking and you raise your hand to give a comment, it’s like telling that person that what you have to say is more important than what he is saying – so be quiet and listen to what I have to contribute. It is needful to listen to what is being said in a group or one-on-one as just as important or more so, to what is not being said. Body language is good to be observant for. Thank you for what you are sharing with all of us.