Author: Richard Himmer

Author, PhD in Organizational Psychology.

A Christmas Gift Your Family Will Never Forget

It was Christmas Eve as Mark emerged from the office. Walking up to his new car, he noticed a street urchin circling with admiration.

“Is this your car Mister?” he asked.

Mark nodded, “My brother gave it to me as an early Christmas present.”

The boy look astounded. “You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you anything? Gosh I wish…”

He hesitated and Mark knew what he was going to wish. He was going to wish that he had a brother like that. But the lad’s actual wish jarred Mark to his inner core.

Is that the Official Truth, the Ground Truth, or the Underground Truth?

In life there are three truths we deal with:

Official Truth

Ground Truth

Underground Truth

The official truth is the truth that you discuss in public.

The ground truth is the truth that you discuss in private.

The underground truth is the truth that you ignore, avoid, and fear. This is reality that is often not seen until too late.

FINANCES

The official truth is that our finances are fine.

The ground truth is that we’re on the verge of losing our house and possibly filing bankruptcy.

The underground truth is that we don’t know how to discuss our finances, balance our checkbooks and keep a budget.

We Don’t Need Exaltation – We Want It or Not

During the Sermon on the Mount, which was a sermon designed as an MTC lesson to the apostles, the Lord held a Q&A session (see the JST), and here is what He heard with respect to the Jewish leaders and their acceptance of the restored gospel:

And then said his disciples unto him, they will say unto us, We ourselves are righteous, and need not that any man should teach us.

[How many times have missionaries heard this response from Christian neighbors when presented with more of the gospel? We have a bible and need no more bible, etc?]

Pearls Before Swine

Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do. (2 Nephi 32:3)

Angels =

  • Spirit messengers sent from the presence of God
  • Translated beings
  • Resurrected beings
  • Special witnesses to the Savior
  • Priesthood leaders & Teachers
  • Auxiliary leaders & Teachers
  • Sunday School/Primary Teachers
  • Visiting Teachers
  • Home Teachers
  • Parents
  • Missionaries

Setting Goals For Others

If you have a goal for another person, you’ve made yourself a victim.

Salespeople, missionaries, church leaders, and parents are often found in frustrating positions because they have set goals, made plans, and formulated expectations for other people without the proper permission being granted.

When you set a goal for someone else, you violate his or her trust and expose yourself to disappointment. It is often a result of perceiving that you know what is best for the other person. In such cases, the achievement of said goal is more important to you than to the person.

Exaltation Is About Change

Birth is a change from immortal to mortal. At death we lay our mortality down and enter the world of spirits preparatory to the resurrection where immortality is again ours, thus the saying from eternity to eternity.

The change that brings on eternal life must come by INVITATION and not MANDATE.

As missionaries we invite others to investigate by offering them features of the gospel. As members we invite our friends to share the gospel’s blessing by how we live and as parents we invite our children’s obedience by how we teach.

Prophecy on Addiction

As you read the following versus in 2 Nephi 27, keep the concept of addiction in the forefront of your mind.

1 – But behold, in the last days, or in the days of the Gentiles—yea behold all the nations of the Gentiles and also the Jews…they will be drunken with iniquity and all manner of abominations.

Commentary: We are in the last days when people will be drunken with iniquity etc. The prophets have said this generation of people is as wicked as Sodom and Gomorrah. One of the diseases of the modern day is narcissim.

The Addiction of Co-Dependency

While more and more attention is being given to the pandemic of addiction, from alcohol to pornography, the depth and treatment is not well understood. Even less understood and lightly discussed is the addiction of co-dependency.

Co-dependency is often associated with the spouse or parents of an addict. Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another.

It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

Safe Sex: America’s Fastest Growing Religion

Finally a religion that Atheists and religionists can agree on.  The discrepancy is in their interpretation and this makes for a fascinating discussion.

From an atheist standpoint, science replaces God. As long as there is science, why do we need a God? Science can even provide a moral base, or so they argue.

Let’s take sex as our subject matter. Sex is the elephant standing in your living room full of guests that nobody will discuss. Safe sex is an oxymoron except within the bonds of matrimony.

5 Key Characteristics Of Addictive Behavior

  1. Repetitive
    1. Not necessarily every day
  2. Degenerative
    1. Intensifies over time
    2. More frequent, more intense
    3. May progress to more dangerous or damaging activities
    4. Produces increasing shame and decreasing pleasure
  3. Unmanageable
    1. Want to stop but can’t
  4. Medicative
    1. Use substance or behavior to change feelings or alter mood
  5. Destructive
    1. Kills self-worth, relationships, and even leads to death
    2. Can lead to divorce, financial ruin, loss of employment, legal action, and disease

How Do People Become Addicted?

Many people become addicted out of curiosity. Some became addicts because of a justifiable need or as an act of deliberate rebellion. While others find themselves in their miserable state of being because of parents and family who violated them when very young.

For example, have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight or to get in better shape? And if so, how many times have you broken the resolution before the 1st quarter expired? Before January expired? Before the day was over?

Why? Is it because you are lazy? Is it because you are a liar?

The Complete Meaning Of Repentance

In church we learn the 4 Rs of repentance:

1. Recognition. We must recognize what we have done wrong.

2. Remorse. We must feel godly sorrow for our mistakes.

3. Restitution. We must try to restore what has been lost as a result of our transgressions.

4. Resolve. We must resolve never to commit the sin again.

The Book of Mormon teaches us at least 66 Rs:

Devotion

The anti-thesis to addiction is devotion. Devotion is a profound dedication or worship. It is moving toward the light of Christ. It is a healthy relationship between the devotee and the person or principle of devotion.

Addiction and devotion cannot reside in the same space. If you are addicted in one area, you cannot be devoted in the same area. As a result, consider the following conflicts presented with addictive behavior.

  • You cannot be devoted to a strong physical body and the Word of Wisdom while being addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco or compulsive eating.

The Meaning of Addiction

Let’s review the meaning of addiction.

Addiction is a way to meet our needs and wants in a misapplied or dysfunctional way. It is any activity that you cannot control and it gets worse over time. It is the use of a substance or an experience (action) for the purpose of removing pain or gaining pleasure.

The most common addictions known and discussed publicly are:

  • Drugs
  • Alcohol
  • Tobacco
  • Gambling
  • TV, gaming, Internet

Lesser-known but also common addictions are:

  • Eating disorders
  • Anorexia, bulimia
  • Shopping
  • Rage

It’s Not Just Men

So far, I have only addressed one aspect of addiction. It is the most commonly discussed addiction in the LDS culture. However, it is only one addiction. According to a 1995 study, as many as 10 million females are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder.

There is even a new addiction coined by Dr. Steven Bratman called Orthorexia to describe those who obsess about healthy eating and not about being thin and losing weight.

Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment. The mortality rate for those suffering from an eating disorder is staggering.