Category: Communication

Your Speaking “TO DO” list

To Do List

Now the fun part, here are keys to giving a great talk along with some suggestions:

  • Seek the direction of the spirit

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  • You represent the Lord at the pulpit

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  • Make your opening remarks sticky
    1. You have less than 10 seconds to get their attention, if you ramble, you’ll lose them.
    2. Use a story, open with a scripture, start boldly, start softly.
    3. Use an intriguing question or a thought-provoking statement.

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  • Introduce your topic through illustration or story. Let the audience discover your topic and connect the doctrines.

Blind Spots in Speaking

Your Blind Spots List

A communication Blind Spot is when you do or say something that causes push back, boredom, or anger and you don’t know why. Here are some suggestions on how to avoid Blind Spots in your talk.

  • Do not mention your topic at the beginning of your talk.
  • Do not mention the story of how the Bishop, Branch President, or Stake President asked you to speak on the following subject.
  • Do not explain that you had prepared a talk last night and this morning the spirit changed his mind and now you’re speaking on something else. He rarely changes his mind.

You’ve been asked to give a Talk

You’ve been asked to speak this Sunday by the Bishop or one of his counselors. After the requisite panic, then anger, and then fear, you finally settle down to study. You may or may not know much about your topic, but sharing your knowledge with 250 other members is not your cup of tea. Some years ago, I wrote down my ideas of how to prepare and give a talk. Here are my ideas broken into five parts.

Next to death, public speaking carries the greatest fear for people.  This should greatly excite you and compel you forward to a state of great preparation or sheer panic.

Building Trust With Our Youth

Exaltation is a pathway of the Collective

Of the many explanations and definitions of Eternal Life, perhaps the most significant realization of recent memory is the lack of individualism in the Celestial Kingdom. The concepts of rugged individualism and complete independence are merely checkpoints along the celestial journey.

When Joseph Smith saw the Father and the Son, they were accompanied by a myriad of angels. When a baby is blessed, it is a collective. I remember Ross Farr, while blessing his child, once invited all Melchizedek Priesthood holders in the ward to join him on the stand. Ross will always be part of a large and entertaining collective.

The Art of Connecting: Building Rapport

The most effective space in missionary work is trust. In a recent training with missionaries, it appears the MTC is still teaching rapport building as an ‘effective’ tool in the work.

How do you feel when someone tries to manipulate you into doing something they want?

As a father, when my son prefaces a question with: “Dad, I sure love you,” my antennae go up. Does he love me because I’m dad, or because I have something he wants?

You can’t hide rapport building. Like bad breath, it usually arrives moments after you open your mouth. The art of connecting is another way of building rapport.

Amber

Young Amber was on her way home from her 1st Junior Olympics. As she settled in her seat, the Flight Attendant servicing her section noticed the Junior Olympics tee shirt Amber was wearing. She questioned Amber about the shirt and discovered that she had indeed been a participant in the recently completed World Junior Olympics.

“What event did you compete in?” the Flight Attendant inquired.

“The high jump”, Amber proudly replied.

“How did you do?”

“I came in 14th place.”

“Oh! How many participants were there in the high jump?”

“14!”

An Adulterous Woman and Her Men

John 8 recounts a most interesting story. Jesus is on the Mt. of Olives, perhaps in or near the Garden of Gethsemane. Early in the morning He went unto the temple and scribes and Pharisees brought a woman before him taken in adultery.

They set her in the midst and claimed to have taken the woman in the very act. Now what does that mean? Where is the man? They quote Moses as to her penalty. She is to be stoned, and in a pitiful attempt, the wisdom of the natural man tempts God,

“What sayest thou?” they ask of the Savior.

Is that the Official Truth, the Ground Truth, or the Underground Truth?

In life there are three truths we deal with:

Official Truth

Ground Truth

Underground Truth

The official truth is the truth that you discuss in public.

The ground truth is the truth that you discuss in private.

The underground truth is the truth that you ignore, avoid, and fear. This is reality that is often not seen until too late.

FINANCES

The official truth is that our finances are fine.

The ground truth is that we’re on the verge of losing our house and possibly filing bankruptcy.

The underground truth is that we don’t know how to discuss our finances, balance our checkbooks and keep a budget.

Teaching vs. Criticizing

“I could just tell you what to do, or we could explore it together. The first is much faster to deliver. The second usually works better.” – Carl Ingalls

Teaching vs. Criticism

Teaching is the process of delegating thinking to the student.  The art of asking questions to teach has prerequisites and can only be applied when functioning within The You Pyramid™. The anti-thesis of teaching is criticizing.

Constructive criticism is the politically correct way of seeking agreement from or forcing agreement on someone else and masking it as a virtue.

Constructive tends to build up and to serve a useful purpose.

Missionary Blind Spots

I’m fascinated by the quick learning abilities of children when they play video games. Most recently my children received a Wii unit for Christmas. Before the day had expired Samuel, my 8-year-old son challenged me to a boxing match.

Finally, I thought, something electronic at which I can beat my children. I have formal training in the martial arts and can certainly move my hands quicker than my 8-year-old boy. The results? I didn’t make it past the first round. Sam KO’d me.

Avoid conflict avoidance?

At one moment in our existence we sang for joy because our Father in Heaven agreed to coach us back into His presence.

Then we were born and a veil was placed between that moment and the present. Our memory became clouded even temporarily erased.

In order to accomplish our vision and dream, we needed conflict to make us grow. So the Lord introduces us to conflict every day. The rules of engagement for exaltation are to cope with…

  • Getting out of bed in the morning
  • Fatigue
  • Sore muscles
  • Too much food
  • Toxic family members

What is your Story?

Young Amber was on her way home from her 1st Junior Olympics. As she settled in her seat, the Flight Attendant servicing her section noticed the Junior Olympic shirt Amber was wearing. She questioned Amber about the shirt and discovered that she had indeed been a participant in the recently completed World Junior Olympics.

“What event did you compete in,” the flight attendant inquired?

“The High Jump“, Amber proudly replied.

“How did you do?”

“I came in 14th place.”

“Oh! How many were there in the competition?”

“14!”

“I’m sorry,” said the Flight Attendant.

To Persuade

When teaching the gospel or conversing with a friend, a position of neutrality is the most powerful position from which to converse. Neutrality offers you the best chance of conversing in a space of trust and respect.

Persuading has two distinct meanings in the bible. If you wish to persuade in the proper sense, neutrality is the most effective way. It is building confidence and trust.

However, persuading in the wrong way doesn’t require neutrality. In fact, being neutral is not a concern, because deception is the operative point of view.

Here is how Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible defines persuade.

Teaching and holding the students accountable

Teaching:

The act of showing love by holding the student accountable for growth

What does it mean to hold someone accountable? Have you ever held someone accountable for what they want? Some years ago my son Stuart asked me to help him prepare for a mission. One of the things he asked me to help him with was cleanliness, or should I say, lack thereof.

During the initial weeks of his preparation, he heard a repeated question: “Stuart is your room up to missionary standards?” He never argued with me from that point on. Having a clean room was something he wanted. He gave me permission to hold him accountable for serving a mission and a clean room was a stepping-stone along the way.