Q: If my daughter views pornography once a week or a couple times a month is she addicted to pornography? I guess my question is what is addiction? The church seems to be saying that pornography addiction is a real problem but what about just looking at pornography?
A: Dear Parent,
Thank you for asking a very important question that applies to more than just your daughter. Let’s clarify the definition of addiction and perhaps this will add greater understanding to the second part of your question.
Addiction is a way to meet ones needs and wants in a misapplied or dysfunctional way. It is any activity that you cannot control and that gets worse over time. It is the use of a substance or behavior for the purpose of removing pain or gaining pleasure. An addiction is a repeated behavior despite adverse consequences.
Not everybody who views pornography is addicted. For example, thousands of people receive prescription medicine everyday for post surgery or to alleviate the pain of an illness or malady. A very low percentage of them become addicted to prescription drugs.
Given your daughter’s weekly or bi-weekly choice to view pornography, if she were taking drugs, smoking, drinking coffee, or sleeping with her boyfriend, would you consider it a problem or an addiction?
Is she acting out as a way to meet her needs or wants? Is being curious weekly a passing intrigue or is it something far more powerful?
Since men and women view pornography for different reasons and one in three women now view Internet pornography, she is following a growing trend in society that has moved away from romance novels and chat rooms to a more sinister form of temporary satisfaction.
If she self-reports viewing pornography a couple of times a month that usually means weekly. If she reports a weekly viewing, that usually means daily. Given the above-stated definition, you have the God-given right of discernment for your daughter. Her future happiness and capacity for emotional intimacy in marriage is weighing in the balance.
May the Lord bless you as a parent!
