The practical application of prayer is akin to communicating with a parent; with the notable exception that communicating with earthly parents carries different nuances. The most apparent difference is the predictably irrational behavior of earthly parental units during times of frustration and anger.
If prayer is the process of communicating with God, then an understanding of effective communication is necessary. Pure communication is an exchange of understanding. However, for the purposes of learning, the process starts with seeking to understand the other person. No expectation of reciprocity. In other words, do not expect them to seek your opinions or thoughts.
In the case of prayer, our Heavenly Father already knows about us. In fact, He knows far more than we do and He isn’t afraid to point out truths that we are hesitant to face and admit.
However, any time we seek to get Him to agree with our murmur, plight, pity party, victimization, and self-serving plea, we are not communicating, but rather we are whining and attempting to convince God to align Himself with our thoughts and opinions.
Being swallowed up in the will of the Father is more than a nice-sounding metaphor for life; it is a way of being and the essence of discovering happiness. Furthermore, it transforms behavior from the natural man that is addictive in nature, to a position that abhors sin and distances oneself from anything that is not conducive to the Spirit (Mosiah 5:2).
If prayer is a higher form of communicating, then our execution becomes even more important. As a general rule, people communicate with strangers, friends and coworkers using a higher level of awareness, trying to be on their best behavior than they do with family. Sadly, we drop our guards, our self-awareness, and our self-regulation around family and our communication becomes self-serving, almost narcissistic.
A logical approach to effective communication would manifest an opposite trend, where the highest levels of respect and regard are paid to family, especially parents and grandparents who are the forbearers of the family heritage. This logic is replaced by the reality that, for the most part, there is a cultural breakdown within the family structure and interpersonal relationships of any depth are more the exception than the rule.
Emotional Intimacy
An interpersonal relationship is filled with emotional intimacy, which is defined as mutual trust and respect. When children become disobedient, the common theme expressed is a loss of emotional intimacy, yet the affection of love remains. The Lord’s connection between love and obedience has been redefined in these the last days, as the love of man grows cold (Matthew 24:12).
The Lord said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15) The ability to express pure love, the way the Lord defines it, encompasses emotional intimacy or mutual trust and respect. However, with the loss of two-thirds of the ingredients, (trust and respect), the overall love of man is on ice.
The challenge of prayer is our lack of interpersonal skills on the mortal level. Without the ability to share safe and neutral space with loved ones, how is it possible to create a deep relationship based on mutual trust and respect with God?
The question itself deserves to be questioned. There is a stark difference between communicating with earthly parents and Heavenly Parents. On the challenging side, we can’t see our Heavenly Father, we usually don’t hear his actual voice, and we must learn to listen with a keener sense of hearing.
On the positive side, He never breaks a promise, He knows exactly what we are going through, He is always there, and He always has the right answer.
On the negative side, we may not like or appreciate His answer. On the positive side, there is millennia of evidence that if we believe Him, and obey Him, we are happier, stronger, and closer to Him.
Is it possible that developing emotional intimacy with our Heavenly Father is therefore an easier process than doing so with our earthly parents? Perhaps, it could be the first step for those of us struggling to develop a bond with our mortal parents, our spouse, or even our children.
Next section: How: the purpose of prayer
I made a conceptual connection while reading this. As we try to be a TED, we are seeking to understand another other person. Likewise, in prayer, we seek to understand the Father & His will. Connecting the two, as we communicate in TED-like ways with others to seek understanding the same way we should seek to understand God, we are treating others similarly to how we should treat God, thus bringing out their God-like attributes which they are potentially capable of.
In the ideal, City of Enoch type world, we would achieve pure communication on a consistent basis, all of us allowing ourselves to be subservient to the other members of society, & all of us understanding each other on a higher than telestial level. It would serve as a preparation for future roles of being the godly fathers (& mothers) to our upcoming worlds of creation & inhabitants.
Well said. In many discussions on the topic of prayer it is interesting to note how many of us seek to get the Lord’s agreement on our proposed way of doing business versus seeking to understand how He wants it conducted.